Dunno what to title this
Things have felt off for years yet normal and I never gave it a thought of 'why?' but here's some of the things I feel/do/whatever.
- People often ask me why I don't tell them XYZ because I didn't understand what I was feeling or wanting. I never know how to respond, or I would feel ashamed sometimes.
- I feel like I only have a few specific feelings and nothing in between.
- I had terra-bad handwriting, I learnt how to tie my shoes when I was 12 and have pretty bad physical coordination.
- If I don't have a current hobby/obsession (rubik's cubing → rhythm games → vocaloid → audio → whatever → japanese), I have periods of sadness that I can't explain but I feel until I find something else to replace the hobby I no longer find interesting with.
- I don't like when people touch me besides something like handshaking.
- I can't talk to someone unless they have similar hobbies or they're around my age/similar to me because I can't understand what the other person is thinking/
responding. I physically don't know how to talk to them but I can do a presentation just fine. - I sometimes feel like certain clothing feel itchy even though they have nothing itchy about them.
- I can understand humor in English but I have a hard time doing in French or other languages even if I understand everything being said. Or, I have a hard time interpreting for someone I know, for example, Portuguese to French and the other person will get angry that I take too long or unable to translate/explain.
- I find it hard to document what I'm doing whilst doing something but I can document what I did after by memory.
- I don't really think about routine, but when I use something like tiling window managers, my reasoning becomes 'predictabiliy'.
This means nothing as I don't have an actual diagnosis, and it's not really detrimental to me but I've felt lost but the mention that it could be something ASD made me think about it a bit... and you should too.
I might have nothing, I might have something but awareness is important and I feel like it could be hard for others if there is no one to suggest or push gently someone to think about it or atleast that's what I hope this does.